Muse
Saturday, February 25, 2006
There are times when I feel utterly nothing. People ask me how I am, and as I mutter some vague reply my mind turns on itself and points, laughing at my lie. It's very strange to be neither happy nor sad, neither excited nor dissapointed, and I think the only word that can sum up that lack of feeling is loneliness. I believe that people have energies that are invisible and immeasurable, that they carry around them. The energy itself changes, and sometimes fades, but it is always there. It's something that I can sense the moment I meet someone or walk into a room. The thing about these energies, however, is that they depend on each other, they interact. Good energy begets good energy, and one person with bad energy can bring down everyone else in the room.
Recently, I've been alone for a lot longer than I'm used to. Now, I enjoy being alone, it's something I require as part of my day, but now it's being imposed on me. I'm alone simply because there's nobody around. I recognise this feeling from when I started the IB. I'd moved to a new school, and although I still had good friends close by, the change of environment meant that I didn't see them.
The answer of course, is always the same. Relationships aren't easy in the real world. School is a preamble to the real world, its a place where everything is easy. Out of that situation, friendships are something that need to be maintained.
When I was lonely those years ago, all it took was some effort, and the best years of my relationship with my friends began. Now, again, it took some effort, but everything is getting better. Truth is, things change. It's all about how you deal with it.
you're that much closer to knowing me.
[ 1 of you have something to say ]
[ say something ]